For Love of an Illusion
by Fier Shadowquest
Summary: How far would you go to achieve a dream? How long would you wait, holding on to that fantasy? Would it be worth it? I have been to the brink of insanity and back for what others have deemed impossible.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in or related to Yu Yu Hakusho.

For Love of an Illusion

By: Fier Shadowquest

PROLOGUE

How far would you go to achieve a dream? How long would you wait, holding on to that fantasy? Would it be worth it? I have been to the brink of insanity and back for what others have deemed impossible. My love, my passions, my dreams, they are the only things that have held me together all these years. The people that call themselves my family have condemned me. My friends have abandoned me, moving on to "greater things" as they liked to say.

They are all the same.

No one believes me. I have been through counseling, and therapy, and many other "helpful" programs, each one more hellish than the next. Delusional. Schizophrenic. Nut-job. Every conclusion came out the same. I was beyond help, as one doctor said.

Not true. I wasn't beyond help. It's just that no one here, in _this _world could help me.

I was waiting for someone.

I know, silly girl, waiting for some boy long gone. Waiting for a boy that never existed.

But I don't care what others think. They don't understand. Even if they were there, even if they saw it all, they still wouldn't understand. Not really.

Not us.

So I wait for him. It will take time, years of it, but I know that he will come to me. This he promised, and he has never broken a promise yet.

I have a new doctor today, since the last one finally decided to wash her hands of me. She's young, I note. Her blue blazer complimenting her neatly pinned blond hair. She smiles brightly, arranging crisp sheets of paper in front of her, and asks me to sit down. Behind oval glasses, her blue eyes shine with genuine friendliness, a trait so rare in this drab place.

I decide that I like this woman.

"Hello Miss Kheldon. I'm Mrs. Wheeler, but seeing as we are going to see a lot of each other you can call me Rhiannon."

"Rhiannon . . ." I repeat slowly, thinking. A tiny smile touches my lips. "After the song or the folk tale with the fairy queen?"

She blinks once, obviously surprised. "Well, I'm impressed," she admitted. "You're the first one who even knew about that old tale. But no, the song has nothing to do with me Miss Kheldon."

"Jade," I corrected. "If I can use your first name, then it stands to reason that you can use mine."

"Alright."

I gave her a smile, and feeling chatty said, "About the name, you shouldn't be so surprised. I know lots of legends. I had nothing else better to do, so I raided a friend's library. And I must say . . ." I flashed a wicked smile. "She had a _lot_ of questionable books in those shelves of hers."

We talked for a while. Idle chatter really. All the other doctors did this too, but she seemed more at ease than the others had been. It made me fell relaxed around her, a good quality in her line of work. I wondered briefly if she was aware of it or not.

Finally, she brought up the main topic, the one she was hired to analyze and remedy. As tactful as can be she asked me who he was, the one I spent so much time waiting for. "Tell me about him."

I pointed to the papers on her desk, and the thick folder next to them. "You have my file. You already know, if not, my previous . . . _advisors_ would be delighted to tell you."

"I want to hear it directly from you. No hearsay."

I sighed and folded my hands in my lap to keep them from toying with the neckline of my shirt. "Well, if you insist. What do you want to know?"

Rhiannon looked at me evenly. "Anything. Everything. Jade, you can tell me whatever feels comfortable to you. As much or as little as you like."

Since she asked so nicely . . . "I can tell you the whole story, if you want. But I'm warning you it may take a while."

"We have time."

"Alright," I nodded. "His name is Hiei. And this is how we met."


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in or related to Yu Yu Hakusho.

For Love of an Illusion

By: Fier Shadowquest

"Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turned their heads embarassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
You'll slip before you know it" - Fallen- Sarah McLachlan

CHAPTER 1

"Get that thing out of my face."

"Aww, come on Jason! Seth and Amanda didn't mind, right guys?" The tall strawberry blond gave a bubbly laugh as she refocused her brand new camcorder, bringing the surly young man into sharp focus. The others in the back of the van didn't comment.

Jason scowled. "I mean it Shelly! Why don't you pester Jade?"

"Because I'm driving," the shortest of their group answered. She threw a hard glare at the girl sitting in the passenger seat. "And she knows that the minute she points that thing in my direction it's going out the window."

"And I rather like my camera," confirmed Shelly. "So come on! Smile for me! At least a little one?"

"Give it up Shell, you're starting to get on my nerves," Amanda said, speaking up for the first time in the past two hours. When Shelly stuck her tongue out at her, she rolled her eyes and went back to staring out the window, eyes watching the tall pine trees zip past.

"You guys love me," Shelly said sweetly.

"Are we there yet?" Seth groaned.

Jade suppressed a sigh of her own. She wished that she never agreed to this little road trip. It was Spring Break for the entire group, and no one had wanted to waste it at home. So what did her wonderful friends propose?

A week-long camping trip. At a site none of them had been before.

_Just wonderful,_ she sulked. It wasn't like she _didn't _like camping, quite the contrary. She loved the great outdoors. Camping, hiking, and horseback riding were some of her favorite activities. She even liked rock climbing the one time she did it. No, what set her on edge was why Seth and Jason insisted on this site. They absolutely refused to go anywhere else.

At least it got her out of the house for a while. Her parents had been pestering her for weeks, all the old arguments back in focus. Where are you going after High School? Are you going to find work anytime soon? You've almost graduated, why aren't you applying for college?

And of course the most annoying question; Why don't you have a boyfriend? This of course, would come from her mother, an everyday housewife who was certain that a girl was nothing without a good man by her side. Jade loved her family, but at times like these she wished that they would just mind their own damn business.

"Hey guys, I think we're here!"

Jade snapped out of her thoughts and focused back on the road in front of her just in time to catch an old wooden sign flash by saying Welcome to Shadow Rock Mountain.

"Jade, pull over!" Shelly squealed. "I want to film something!"

Sighing, she parked the beat-up blue van on the side of the road. The five of them quickly piled out, eager for a chance to stretch their legs. The boys proceeded to do some minor stretches, while Amanda approached a large granite boulder with a large plaque bolted to it. Shelly was busy filming the surrounding forest and her companions all the while speaking a quiet monologue to the camera.

Jade walked up next to Amanda, who was frowning at the plaque.

"What's up?"

Amanda gave her a brief glance before pointing at the third paragraph. "Read this," she said simply.

Now curious, Jade turned her attention the copper plate, the old metal long-since weathered green. It took a moment to make out the words.

_. . . this area was a favored location for ceremonies and rituals performed by several minor cults that had inhabited the area. Even years after their discontinuation, many reports have been made of strange events occurring within the mountain itself, making Shadow Rock a paranormal hot-spot for . . . _

Amanda snorted. "I think we found out why the boys wanted to come here."

"Seth. Jason." Jade growled. "Get your asses over here."

"NOW," Amanda added.

Cautiously the two made their way over. Seth gave a nervous grin while Jason smiled pleasantly. "Yeah?"

Jade pointed at the plaque behind her, watching their expressions carefully. "You two wouldn't happen to know anything about this now would you?"

Busted.

"What is it?" Jason asked, the curly-haired brunette making a play at innocence. He eyed the words a little too curiously and attempted an "honestly-shocked" expression. He failed miserably.

Seth gave the plaque a once-over, before paling. "W-well what do you know? I didn't know this place was supposed to be haunted."

"What are you _talking_ about!" Shelly piped up. "You told me that strange things would happen here!"

Amanda gaped at the perky girl. "They _told_ you about this?"

"Well, yeah. Why do you think I bought a new camera? If we see anything creepy I want to get it on film. Tabloids pay big bucks for stuff like this you know!"

"Jason . . ." Amanda growled. "You are _so dead_!"

Well aware of his girlfriend's wrath, he took a step back. "Oh, come on Amanda! It's not like anything's gonna happen! Lighten up."

After much bickering between the quarreling couple, Jade ordered everyone back into the van. Jade was just as agitated as Amanda, but held her tongue. There was nothing they could do about it now, so the best thing to do was to set up camp before sundown, and beat up the boys later.

As she steered through the winding mountain road, Jade reassured herself that Jason was right. What could happen?

oOoOo

"Hey guys! It's food!" Amanda shouted. When she received no immediate response, she shrugged and looked at Jade. "It's not like they deserve it anyway."

Jade nodded over her cup of coffee. "Agreed."

The group had found a suitable campsite a little ways off-road, nearby a nice little creek that wound around the slope and out of site. Two tents were hastily pitched and sleeping arrangments made. The next morning Amanda and Jade had taken it upon themselves to start breakfast while the others went off for some exploring.

A firm believer of first come first serve, Amanda piled some toast and sausage onto two paper plates and passed one over to Jade before sitting on a log beside her. "I hope I didn't burn it."

Jade took an experimental bite and shook her head. "It's fine."

"Hey! Where's ours?"

The two young women turned to look at the latecomers.

Jade pointed. "Everything's on a plate by the fire. Make it yourself."

Jason and Seth glared, but didn't protest.

"You Guy's have _got_ to check this out!" Shelly squealed, ploping down between the other girls. With excited flourish, she flipped open the LCD screen on her camcorder and began playing a bit of new footage. "You know the creek? Well, it drops off over into this big crack in the side of the mountain. We couldn't find where it comes out. See?"

Mindful of her breakfast, Jade peered over Shelly's shoulder. The picture was a bit shaky, focusing briefly at a small three-foot waterfall before panning wider to show a massive split in the granite mountainside, creating what looked like a miniature bottomless pit. The water tumbled inside it without splashing.

"That's weird."

"No," Shelly corrected. "It's cool. The boys and I were going to go back and see if we can find where the water exits. You guys have to come!"

Amanda gave a pointed look at the boys. "Fine. So long as _they_ behave themselves."

Jason dragged his index finger in a small "x" over his chest, grinning. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

Jade gave an inward sigh. Would any of them _ever _grow up?

Author's Note: The story will pick up soon, and the first of the Yu Yu Hakusho cast should show up within the next two chapters. Be patient (if anyone IS reading this), I'm trying to make this work.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. (Though it hasn't really appeared in the story yet . . .) 

Author's Note: Woot. I actually got reviewed, and on my debut story too, I'm flattered. Thank you to the both of you, your comments were rather encouraging. Sorry that this story is so slow coming, but my sister (Sharys Aogail is her penname) has been nagging me to help her with HER story. But I know how this is going to end, but it's getting there that's the problem. (See the end of the chapter for the full A/N. If you don't want to hear a mini-rant I suggest you skip it.) –Fier

For Love of an Illusion Chapter 2 

The forest had warmed considerably since that morning, forcing Jade to shed her sweatshirt and tie it securely around her waist. Birds and other small animals were out and about, their shuffles, chirps and whistles creating an interesting chorus. Sunlight decorated the ground in dapples, filtered by the tall pine and oak trees that dominated the area. True, it was beautiful, but they were getting tired, and most of the group was ready to stop for lunch.

The group of friends had been walking down the mountainside for over an hour, with no trace of the missing creek. Amanda suggested that the rest was underground, but the boys, and Shelly seemed deaf to her words.

Jason, and Shelly led the pack eagerly, with an agitated Amanda and tired Seth close behind. Jade trailed behind the others, daydreaming of all the other things she would rather be doing right now. A long horseback ride down a beach and swimming in a wonderfully heated pool were quickly becoming her two favorite fantasies.

Bored and restless, Jade picked up a handful of small rocks as she walked and proceeded to systematically toss them at random weeds one by one. She let her mind drift to early in their hike, when the boys apparently thought it would be funny if they pretended to put a spell on Jade, complete with chants and showering her with flower petals and pine needles. Since then she had gotten a minor headache, and she blamed agitation as the cause.

Eyeing her last rock thoughtfully, Jade half turned and pegged her new target in the back of the head.

Seth yelped. "Hey! What the hell was that for?"

She snorted and began to collect more ammo. "Because Jason isn't in my range," she answered simply. "And because I'm still pissed at you. I still can't believe you guys dragged us out here for a stupid ghost hunt. You _know_ I don't fall for all that superstitious crap."

"But you used to believe in ghosts," Shelly reminded her, obviously eavesdropping. For once the camera was off and resting at her hip in a tan travel-bag.

Jade glared and tossed a pebble in her direction, the small stone deliberately falling short. "I was _five _Shell!"

The other girl shrugged, and rolled her eyes. "Jeez, I was just saying . . ."

"It's called 'fun' Jade," Jason pitched in. "Remember 'fun'? It's when-"

The rest of his sentence was cut short when Amanda slapped his shoulder. "Keep digging that hole, buster. Just see what it gets you."

Jason stopped walking and looked from his girlfriend to Jade and back again. "What is _wrong _with you guys? You're acting like a Vacation Nazi! This was supposed to be an adventure!"

"An _adventure_? What are you, like five? You're supposed to be eighteen next month! Grow up!"

While the couple continued to argue, Jade heard a small shuffle of movement and turned in time to see Shelly whip out her camera, quickly zooming in on their quarreling friends. In a flash the strawberry blonde squealed in protest as the expensive piece of equipment was suddenly confiscated.

Jade gave the taller girl a hard look, her headache making her agitation more volatile. "Filming your own Jerry Springer show too?" she asked harshly. The short brunette looked around at the others, and waved her free hand in frustration. "Look, you guys can continue to look for monsters and phantom creeks, but _I'm _heading back to camp. Later."

"Wait a minute, Jade!" Seth called, but was cut off by a scowling Jason.

"If she want's to storm off, let her. It's her own damn fault if she gets lost."

"But she has my camera . . ." Shelly wined quietly.

oOoOo

_I can't believe them!_

Jade kicked the nearest thing she could find sending a fist-sized rock flying into the underbrush. Several small birds screeched and flittered away, their rest suddenly disturbed. Her head was throbbing, as her headache grew worse and her patience became nonexistent. She wanted to punch something as well, but restrained herself on behalf of Shelley's camera, which she still held clenched in her left hand.

_Vacation Nazi? How _dare_ they? Stupid, immature . . . _

With a frustrated sigh, Jade plopped down at the base of a massive evergreen, carelessly folding her legs and propping her elbows on her knees. She massaged her temples absently, trying her best to calm down seeing as the stress was just aggravating her headache.

She hated this. She hated being lied to, she hated being upset, and she absolutely _despised_ getting pushed into things. She had wanted to get away from her issues at home only receive something new to be angry about.

If her friends wanted to be idiots and go tramping about on a stupid ghost hunt, that's fine. She would have probably joined them anyway, just to disappear for a week. But it was the fact that they hid their motives from her, leading her into something they knew she didn't completely agree with. All they had to do was ask her. She was their friend after all, they were supposed to be able to talk to her. At least that's what she believed.

She hated manipulation. She hated _being_ manipulated or feeling like she was being used. Even if it wasn't intentional.

"Jade?" a familiar voice called.

In response, the brunette waved one hand to be more noticeable. "Over here."

Amanda dropped down next to her and nudged her with an elbow. "You alright?"

Jade pursed her lips and gave a noncommittal shrug.

Noting the awkward silence, the tall girl grabbed a nearby twig and began to absently peel the bark away, glancing at her shorter companion. "I know their idiots but they didn't mean for you to get upset, you know."

Jade took a deep breath and exhaled slowly and ran a careless hand through her loose bangs. "I know," she answered slowly. "But you know where I stand."

Amanda looked away, letting loose a sigh of her own and casting the twig aside. "Yeah . . . I do."

They sat there in silence a bit longer, until Jade's headache quieted and both of their stomachs demanded to be fed. Both girls rose to their feet and dusted themselves of the dirt and pine needles that had attached themselves to their clothing. They chatted as they walked, about any random thing that came to mind.

This was how they would break tension whenever it built between the two of them. There were no forbidden subjects, and knowing that neither would be judged for their words helped the agitated party member to relax. It took Amanda a few tries, but once she got Jade to open her mouth the smaller girl began to calm down, finding comfort in the familiar banter.

Jade managed to smile again, amused while Amanda told her of her little brother's newest attempted stunt. Her mother nearly had a heart attack when she caught little six-year old James leaping from the roof to their backyard tree, boasting that he was Tarzan.

The two girls laughed together, and swapped more stories, neither one of them really paying attention to the forest around them. There was nothing to see really, but if they had been a little quieter they would've noticed how silent the woods had become, and maybe felt something cool ghost along their skin.

However, what they _did_ notice was a landmark neither of them recognized or remembered passing by. They found themselves in a particularly circular grove of trees, framing what appeared to be a tall stone circle, crumbling from age and covered in moss.

"What do you think it is?" Jade asked aloud.

"Don't know," Amanda replied, walking right up and peering into the center of the circle. "Hey, check it out, I think it's a well."

Jade frowned, moving in to stand next to her friend. She eyed the old frayed ropes and broken buckets attached to them. "A well. Who the hell would have a well out here?"

Amanda grinned. "Don't you know? _Every _good cult needs a well, what kind of creep club would they be without one?"

"Shut it. You're not funny."

"Spoilsport."

"Hag."

"Hey!"

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry." Jade turned around and leaned back against the old stone well, her fingers playing absently with the camcorder buttons. "Gahh, I should've been paying more attention to where we were going, now we're lost."

"We're not lost," Amanda isisted. "We're . . . err, turned around."

"Same damn thing."

"Fine, fine, so we're lost." Amanda plopped down next to Jade and let out a weary sigh. "Some vacation, huh."

Jade snorted. "I'll say"

Suddenly both girls tensed at a faint grumbling sound that seemed to come from beneath them. It was a small sound, hardly noticeable really, more felt than heard.

Then the old stone of the well gave way, and Amanda shrieked and reached out in a panic as she felt herself fall and grabbed Jade's arm. Almost tumbling over the edge herself, Jade grabbed the edge and clung tightly. But the weight was too much for the weathered old stone and it cracked and crumbled beneath her fingers. Both girls screamed as they fell, but if there had been anyone to hear, only one splash could be heard.

Then the forest fell completely silent.

Author's Note (cont.): I'm trying to keep it different from the usual run-of-the-mill OC/Self-insertion-type stories that are already out there. I have read so many and I notice the same thing over and over, almost like there is some sort of book that's being distributed titled "How to Write a Self Insertion". ( Being what I am, I ended up casting my sister as Jade. Sorry Sis.) The lovely leading lady seems to always be either a) a constant damsel in distress, or b) a secret, or a soon-to-be super being. She is always either a Goth or a princess in pink. She meets her true love by or before chapter 2 and love miraculously blossoms overnight. The cannon characters like her for reasons they can't explain. There is absolutely no solid reason for her being there (or at least no explanation) and finally, there is no such thing as The Language Barrier (For those of us who don't speak fluent Japanese).

I don't think so. I plan to address these missing pieces, and to have fun doing it. Hopefully it comes out alright. If you see any gaps (but beware! Some are intentional) tell me, and if something is confusing, just ask in a review. I DO answer questions. Thanks for listening. – Fier

P.S. – There WILL be YYH characters in the next chapter, I promise!


End file.
